We are Adam and Melissa.
We are healthy active people who enjoy spending time with family and friends, being outdoors and traveling. Our marriage is strong and stable and our lives are full of laughter and love.
We truly appreciate you considering adoption and us as potential parents for your child. In this letter, we’ve tried to give you a glimpse of who we are and the life we’d create for your child.
Despite our struggle, we have never stopped dreaming of becoming parents. We have always wanted a family and are so thankful for you and the opportunity you are giving us.
We met in 2009 when mutual friends introduced us. Right away, we thought the other was cute and were very drawn to each other. After a few dates, we were inseparable. We had more fun together than either of us had in a long time. After five years, we experienced the greatest day of our lives so far – our wedding day – surrounded by our closest family and friends. Neither of us can truly put into words why we are so drawn to each other. It just works.
As a couple, we make each other better people by complementing each other in our similarities and differences. Melissa is a planner and likes to have everything ultra-organized. Adam is more easy-going. We are able to let loose and enjoy life, while planning for the future together. It is cliché, but we bring out the best in each other. One of the best parts of our marriage is that we make each other laugh every day, whether it’s a goofy text, a silly inside joke or just finding the same shows funny on TV. Melissa’s mom tells us that she loves hearing how much we love each other in the way we talk to each other.
We have been lucky enough to travel together. When we’re on trips, we love to explore history and culture, but also enjoy days on the beach. One of our goals is to see a game in all Major League Baseball stadiums in America. Almost every day we enjoy cooking together and are constantly trying new recipes and have created a cookbook of our favorite recipes and our own creations.
We own a single family home in a suburb of Minneapolis. It’s a well-established area with highly ranked schools and an abundance of activities for families. There are many parks, trails, farmer’s markets and festivals. Living here allows for us to do many different things together like walking our dog on the trails around our house and having fun on one of Minnesota’s many lakes. We also love just hanging out in our backyard. We enjoy working on our gardens throughout the summer and have spent a great deal of time landscaping. We love relaxing back there, admiring the results of our hard work, and watching our dog run around.
Spending time with friends and family is also important to us. Our parents live 20 minutes away and we have great relationships with them. Our parents get along well and hang out without us a lot. Melissa’s parents have a boat on a nearby lake and we spend a great deal of time fishing, swimming and floating with our family, friends and dog.
Our close friends are like a family to us. There’s lots of kids in the group and we enjoy golfing, playing softball and just spending time together. Our baby will have an immediate playgroup who can’t wait to meet him or her.
Expo is our four-year-old French Bulldog. He is loved and spoiled by not only us but our parents and friends. He is calm and spends most of his time sleeping, but enjoys running around in our backyard and walking with Melissa, our neighbor and our neighbor’s two-year-old son.
We knew we wanted to have children before we were married. As children from small families, we knew we wanted to have two, if not three, children. We wanted to fill our house! Fertility specialists determined this was not meant to be. It has been a hard, lonely journey but we have never wavered in our desire to have children and grow our family.
Melissa is truly my best friend and the love of my life. Where I am lacking she is strong, and where she may fall short I am there to pick her up. Our relationship is incredibly strong, which makes our marriage such a success.
Melissa has so many desirable qualities. The most obvious is that she is one of the most caring and dedicated people anyone will meet. This is most apparent when she comes home from a day of teaching her students and tells me stories of how she stayed late to help out a kid who was falling behind or having trouble at home. By the end of each semester, I feel like I know all the kids too and catch myself asking how a particular student is doing or wondering where a student from long ago decided to go to college. Around the holidays our house fills up with cookies, candy and holiday cards from her students, which is a testament to how they feel about her. I have met several of her students and they light up when they see her. Melissa invests in these kids and their future. I cannot wait to see how she interacts with her own child and invests in their life. It will be nothing short of spectacular, I am sure of it.
Melissa and her sister are extremely close and share everything. The two of them find time to talk on the phone or go on trips to new places whenever possible. Melissa’s sister has two daughters, 5 and 9, and the love Melissa has for her nieces, and they have for her, is unlike anything I have ever seen. The girls spend a lot of time visiting us at our house. Recently, Melissa created a makeshift bathing suit for the oldest out of an old figure skating uniform so she could run through a sprinkler we set up for her. Her niece loves to talk about that memory anytime they are on the phone or FaceTiming. The first time I saw Melissa and her nieces interacting I knew Melissa would be nothing short of an amazing mom.
In her free time Melissa loves to read. It is rare to see her without a book. She has a checklist of books that is ever growing and there is no end in sight. This list will surely include children’s books in the future as I know she will look forward to reading books to her child more so than reading on her own. I can see her now, teaching our child how to read so they can share that common bond later in life. Melissa has a close group of language arts teacher friends who also love reading. They like to do girls weekends where they talk about the latest books they have read and watch romantic comedies.
When it is nice out, Melissa likes to walk Expo and sometimes takes our neighbor’s two-year old with them. I can only imagine her walks getting longer and more frequent with a child in our lives, only this time with a stroller.
I am pretty biased when it comes to talking about Adam, as I find him to be the most loving, caring and fun man in the world. He literally makes me laugh every day and has helped me learn to take life less seriously. It may be a cliché, but he has taught me to appreciate the little things and those are the things that make life worth it. He is a hands-on kind of guy. When he is home, he is working in the yard or running around after our dog. I can see him chasing both Expo and our child around, setting up the sprinkler for them to run through or playing sports.
Adam is one of the most easy-going people I have ever met and is also open minded and fiercely loyal. His best friends have been his best friends since he was little. Because Adam is an only child, they have made their own little family. They support each other in everything they do. I cannot think of a better role model in terms of love and friendship than Adam and his group of friends. I can picture these men being extended uncles to our child, helping him to grow and learn and watching how a group of strong men interact in such a familial way.
Adam loves a wide range of sports. He loves to golf when the weather permits. He goes golfing with his dad all the time in the summer and I know that is a tradition he hopes to continue with his own child. Adam also plays what I like to call old man’s hockey, a league with friends he played high school hockey with, as well as softball on a co-ed team of our friends. He loves to try new things as well. He is very excited that our parents have started participating in pickle ball because he played it a few times in high school gym class and loved it. That is just who he is. He loves to explore new fun things he can do with friends and family.
Before Adam and I were married or talked about kids in a serious manner, I knew Adam would be a wonderful dad. He came home from our friend’s house after hanging out with their six-year-old. He came in and said, “Babe, I was just with Elliot. When we have kids I now know the best nerf guns for nerf gun fights. It’s going to be great.” Adam shows excitement in subtle ways, but when his face lit up I could picture him running around with our kids, coaching their teams, helping with homework and just being proud of whoever they grew up to be.
What we have to offer a child
An abundance of love will never be an issue in our household. Since falling in love, we have dreamed of the family we would create together. We bought a house with rooms for children, a large backyard for them to play in and made sure to put our roots in a family friendly area. Now that our dream is becoming a reality, we cannot put into words how excited we are for the future.
We know our baby will be spoiled not only by us, but by our parents who have supported us every step of the way. We are blessed with their love and support, but also with the excitement they have for a child to join our family. They already have plans to decorate the nursery and babysit whenever we will let them. They have also started the process of setting up a college fund for their grandchild, supplemented by us, of course. Our nieces are also excited to have a baby to play with. They will be great role models, as they both love to read and “do art.” We hope their creativity will be fun for the child we are lucky enough to adopt.
What we can really offer a child is a lot of love. We will offer a nurturing environment for our child to grow, learn and have fun. We will offer him or her a home filled with books, a large yard to run around in and a group of playmates (our friends’ children) for him or her to explore the world with. We will offer travel and life experiences, the love of many friends and family and a never-ending thankfulness for a child being a part of our lives.
Thoughts on Adoption
We cannot imagine the decision you are trying to make, but we are so incredibly thankful for you. Melissa’s sister bought a child’s book on adoption for the baby we receive. It is a beautifully illustrated book which outlines the love both the adoptive parents and birth mother have for the child. The selflessness of the birth mother is highlighted as well as the hope and love the adoptive parents have. It makes Melissa cry to read it because it is so true and it is important to us that our baby understands this.
We are open to sending updates once a year if you would like. We also want to make sure you get the support you need during this process. You are the birth mother of the child we hope to adopt. We will never forget that and will be thankful for you every day for the rest of our lives.
If you would like to learn more about us or to arrange an initial phone call, please call Cindy anytime at A Loving Alternative (800) 556-5635.
Melissa & Adam