We are Mary Ellen and Tom – thank you for reading our profile! We love performing music, traveling and spending time with friends and family. As much as we love being the favorite aunt and uncle, we truly can’t wait to be parents!
It is difficult to put into words the deep gratitude we would feel if you were to consider us to be your baby’s parents. As you read our profile we hope it conveys who we are and that it brings you some peace and comfort by showing you how much love would await your child – not just from us as adoptive parents – but from our entire family and network of friends.
We first met on stage as musicians in a club in Allston, Massachusetts (Mary Ellen is a singer and Tom plays bass guitar). That first evening’s performance together was the beginning of many years as both bandmates and close friends. Our shared hobby of music drew us together and it continues to be a strong thread in the fabric of our lives. We have been married since 2011 but we met 14 years earlier. During our early years as friends, we watched each other in different relationships – feeling uneasy and never accepting of each other’s partners. It took us awhile to realize that we were actually in love (DUH!) and once we did, we never turned back! Those years performing together were some of the happiest of our lives. Our bandmates are our dearest friends and music is a part of who we are. We even performed during our own wedding reception! There was no way we would let it go by without sharing the stage on such an important day for us…..after all, the stage was where it all began. Both of us agree that our years of friendship helped build the strong foundation of our marriage and we are sure they will continue to carry us through whatever life has in store for us. We are truly partners.
We are both originally from Massachusetts and chose to buy a family home in Mary Ellen’s hometown. Those first few years were spent making the house our own and enjoying being married. Mary Ellen is a Sales Manager for an electronic resource company and speaks fluent Spanish, travelling to visit universities throughout Latin America. Tom is a Telecommunications Foreman for the local electrical union, often working in different job sites in and around Boston. Our jobs and social lives keep us busy, but there has always been something missing. After trying unsuccessfully to start a family, we happily accepted the idea of adoption into our hearts. Mary Ellen’s cousins were adopted as siblings, another cousin adopted her daughter and her niece and nephew were adopted (now 19 and 21). In fact, Mary Ellen was their nanny for the first two years after they were adopted by her brother and his wife. To this day she has a very close and special relationship with them. We know this has helped us to better understand the range of experiences of adopted children and we will welcome the opportunity to raise our child to feel fully loved and supported.
Both of us love children and are always drawn to them. Our roles as aunt and uncle are very important to us and we are very involved in our nieces and nephews lives. We have spent a lot of time with our friends’ children as well and it’s not uncommon to see the “adults” talking amongst themselves, while we are off somewhere playing with all the kids.
Besides music, we enjoy spending time taking care of our home and being involved in our community. One of our biggest strengths as a couple is our sense of humor. No matter how difficult things may get, we are still able to find ways to make each other laugh. Our home has a large backyard and we live within walking distance of a wonderful school (the one that Mary Ellen attended as a child). We love to travel and see new places – both near and far – and feel it is important to learn about other cultures and to be open to trying new things. At the same time, a sense of connection to the local community is important to us also and ours is a wonderful one in which to raise a family.
We enjoy spending time with family and friends and almost all of our extended family members live nearby. They are overjoyed for us and we will have a very strong support network as we become adoptive parents. Since many of our family and friends have older children now, we know this child will be the object of so much love….not to mention the deep pool of babysitters and experienced older cousins he or she will have to depend on! It is comforting to know that our child will be raised among family, sharing holiday traditions and special occasions and surrounded by love. We are very fortunate to have such a loving family.
About Mary Ellen by Tom
I would like to share a few things with you about Mary Ellen (MEB to many of our family and friends). For one, she is the most caring and supportive person I have ever met. Having been friends with her for a period of time before we were married, the main thread has always been her love of children. From her days as at the Perkins School for the Blind caring for children with disabilities and later as an Occupational Therapist, to putting that career on hold to care for her newly adopted niece and nephew, her love of children has always been strong. Often at parties or family gatherings she can be found somewhere playing with the kids instead of hanging out with the adults – therefore the reason she is often referred to as the favorite aunt. With MEB it’s never just about playing (although that is a huge part!) - it’s also about the learning. What she can learn from them as much as what they can learn from her. I’ve never seen her so happy as to be on her hands and knees fully involved in the time she is spending with a child. In addition to her wonderful way with children, she is also an amazing and loving wife. The last few years have been
difficult for me, as I’ve been supporting my aging parents.
Mary Ellen has been with me every step of the way, helping me as well as helping them, making that time a lot less stressful. For that alone I couldn’t love her more. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I can’t imagine taking these next steps into parenthood without her. Together I know we will make fantastic parents, giving a child a loving and caring home.
About Tom by Mary Ellen
Simply put, Tom is the kindest person I have ever met. Although he tends to be quiet and more introverted in larger groups, he is also one of the funniest people I know and he never fails to make me laugh. He has a unique ability to notice that person in the room who might need a bit of extra attention and that is where he will gravitate. He thinks of others – sometimes even more than himself – and I know that his friends would agree; he would do just about anything for someone he cares about. Tom has a great passion for playing bass and music in general and it is a big part of who he is. He is the kind of person who takes my mother to Mass so she does not have to go alone. He is the kind of person who will do something nice for someone and not take credit for it. To him, as long as it helped that person, that is enough for him. His motto is “be nicer than you have to be”. He is devoted to his family and has done everything to support his parents during recent periods of poor health.
Tom is a hard worker and respected by everyone in his company as someone who can not only get the job done, but who knows how to treat people with respect, fairness and a sense of humor. I am the outgoing one – the one who tends to be more vocal in large groups – we balance each other beautifully and he is my calm and my rock. Because of his sense of humor and innate kindness, children gravitate to him. I have watched it happen and it always fills my heart. There are so many things to love about Tom and of this I am certain: he will make the most wonderful Dad. The reason I feel so ready to begin this journey is because I will have him by my side. I cannot wait to watch him become the Dad he was always destined to be.
What we hope to offer a child
We hope to welcome a child into our lives with infinite love, support and guidance. We know that the journey will not always be easy, but we will be there every step of the way; through bumps and scrapes, to first days of school, to joys and triumphs and disappointments and heartbreak. We want it all – the joy and tears. We hope to provide every opportunity for our child to grow, flourish and experience the world. We want to teach our child how to be good person, a good citizen, a life-long learner and a loving family member and friend.
We live in a vibrant suburban community – the one where Mary Ellen was born and raised. Her mother lives two streets away as well as her aunt and uncle. Cousins and Tom’s family are nearby also, in addition to friends and their children. Your child would be part of a loving community of people. Even our neighbors and postal carrier are excited about our adoption plan!
We promise to be open and honest regarding our child’s story, starting from the very beginning. We want him or her to know about you and to be aware of their history. We plan to respect openness and communication so that our child knows how loved they truly are. Our hope is to provide every opportunity possible for education and higher learning if that is their wish. Most of all, we will offer a child our hearts and all the love we have to give.
We hope this paints a picture of us as a couple and the parents we hope to be. We want you to know that whatever your ultimate decision is, we wish you peace and we will always keep you in our hearts. We would be honored to be chosen and promise to always treasure your child. We would respect and welcome whatever level of contact you choose to have and want you to be assured that we would always honor your role in your child’s life. We pledge to love, honor and cherish your child and do our very best to and help him or her become the best person they can be by supporting who they are – not who we want them to be.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for reading and considering our profile and please know that we will forever be grateful for your courage. If you would like to learn more about us or to arrange an initial phone call, please call Cindy (anytime) at A Loving Alternative (800) 556-5635.